How to buy a new vehicle a military conspiracy theory...

Here is a conspiracy theory for you to consider. Why did the military invent the internet? because the military purchasing department was sick and tired of having to deal face to face with greedy tank and armoured vehicle sales guys. They hated having to sit down and be offered day old coffee and have the sales guy ask him what kind of monthly payments he can afford. After telling the sales guy several times that he would rather negotiate the price of the tank and not the payments he just got more frustrated when the sales guy responds, "i can get you bi-weekly payments with no money down that you will be very happy with." he then tells the army purchaser that he's getting a really great deal and that his boss just can't go any lower. When the army purchaser says he just can't afford the tank, the sales guy says, "hold on... let me talk to my boss again. I really want you to ride this home today." While waiting the army purchaser can see the sales guy laughing with the sales manager. When the sales guy comes back he explains that if he trades in the Honda civic he drove to the dealership in he'll give him $2000.00 for it, and put it towards the "new tank" freight cost which is around $4000.00 and is not part of the negotiated cost. when the army purchaser explains that the Honda Civic is his personal vehicle and the tank will be for work, the sales guy's eyes light up and he proceeds to ask, "so it's a company tank then?... what's the army giving you for a monthly allowance?.... that much huh?... well i just found a better deal for you. we got room in your budget for the XTTRA model. Comes with leather heated seats and the power package with includes power door hatch and 7" touch screen GPS." when the army purchaser explained that the tanks were going to the desert and he didn't need heated seats the sales guys just responds, "well, don't turn them on then. Problem solved!" When the army purchaser asks how long the financing will be and the interest rate the sales guy responds by saying, "i can get you in that XTTRA in army green or camo green at a very respectable 12% rate over 92 months. And considering credit cards charge up to 20% this is a steal of an interest rate." when the army purchaser tries to explain that he just doesn't feel comfortable making payments for the tank over 7 1/2 years because tanks tend to take a lot of abuse and that insurance for tanks is very expensive, the sales guy interupts by adding, "tanks like these last forever. this tank is indestructible. so how can low payments for the cadillac of tanks be a bad thing? makes no sense to me." then when the army purchaser asks exactly how indestructible the tank is the sales guy answers, "very safe. as long as you don't get too much sand in the undercarriage it will ride forever." when the purchaser once again explains that the tank will be in a desert setting the sales guy responds, "for an additional... $2000 we'll spray some sand protector on it... let's see... yeah, it will only bump your payment up $3.00. no big deal." when the army purchaser asks what this sand protector is the sales guy responds, "it's a water based liquid consisting of H2O. we spray it underneath the tank." its now been over 5 hours since the army purchaser first sat down for that day old cup of coffee he's so exhausted that he just wants the tank and he just wants to leave and go home so he signs everything that is put before him. he gets a handshake from the sales guy and the sales manager and is told he can pick up the tank the next day. the army purchaser goes home and the next morning at work tells his boss that he got the tank for a great deal and will pick it up this afternoon. Of course when the boss asks how much the tank cost and the army purchaser actually can't answer that question but explains the low monthly payments the boss is not happy. He yells at the army purchaser telling him he should have bought the damn tank at a Saturn dealership because they don't haggle over the cost of their tanks. frustrated and upset the army purchaser drives across town to pick up the tank but finds out he has to wait a few hours because they noticed that one of the turning lights wasn't working and they have the tank in the shop getting fixed under warranty work. The army purchaser while sitting in the waiting room at the dealership waves to the sales guy who awkwardly waves back because he can't remember the army purchaser. It's then that the army purchaser thinks there has to be a better way of doing this..... some way that i can interact with new tank sales guys from the seat of my own chair at my own desk and not on there turf... must be some way that they have to spell out everything and let me see everything in writing before i sign anything.... some way that i can be brave and stand up to the sales guy and not be shy and so easily persuaded... there has to be some way.......

the internet! it was that day that the army purchaser came up with the internet concept. A way to send "mail" instantly to a recipient and receive a message back just as quickly... a way to tell the sales guy here's my offer take it or leave it. and if he doesnt' take it, send another mail to another tank dealership to see if they will. it was then that the internet was designed.

and so today, not only does the military utilize the internet for this purpose, but so can the normal everyday tax paying citizen. this is how you buy a new vehicle. you go to the dealership and test drive it. then go home and get on the computer and email the sales guy and tell him you want to buy it. you negotiate at your desk and if it works out, you go to the dealership and pick up your new ride. it's that simple. thank you internet! thank you army purchaser guy!

just another day

You put it all in a bottle, locked up in the cabinet on the highest shelf. The key has always been missing and can’t be found. That’s what you tell yourself. Long nights and short days the years pass away. Every deceased day is another reason you never leave but always stay. You want to be lost because you never want to be found. You would rather fall asleep to the cries of where are you then the sound of a loved one’s breathing. You can’t stay awake and all you seem to do is get wrapped around dark thoughts and dead dreaming. You would rather be crying then living. Sunrise and sunsets are never seen because you keep your eyes closed and opening them to a beautiful world is not what you chose. You would rather bleed then laugh, cry then smile, and hurt than heal. You let chemicals take you out of the moment and misery to bring you back into it. You don’t want to feel your body or mind and all you want is to forget. But memories are your currency and you buy more than you sell. You take more then you share and you tell your cut and bruised skin that every hit and every cut is a sign that no one cares. Loneliness is your blanket and your comfort and dark bedrooms with closed drapes is how you hide from a world you feel is made up of very little genuine and too much fake. You pretend that you are no longer scared and can no longer feel pain, that you are damaged beyond repair. Past your skin and bones is a soul that is growing old and worn and all you want to do is recollect and put your memories in a box to bury it and mourn. you would rather hide in a bottle that's floating away and you don't care if the waves crush you on the rocky shores or if it's just another day. just another day.